DON'T TAKE MY PORN COLLECTION PERSONALLY...

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Most men masturbate to pornography because their brains crave visual stimulation while being stimulated in, 

um, other ways. But this isn’t an indicator that he doesn’t want you, says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., co-author of The Good in Bed Guide to 52 Weeks of Amazing Sex. The average guy approaches self-love as a private act and probably does it for stress relief, just like you might have sex toys that you turn to when he’s not around. His preferred kind of X-rated video also doesn’t mean that’s the kind of sex he necessarily wants, Kerner adds, likening porn to channel surfing: You might not know what you’re looking for until something captures your attention.

And don’t worry: While men want to you to be passionate in the bedroom and have the confidence of a porn star, guys say they don’t expect or even necessarily want their woman to be as crazy as porn stars, says Barry McCarthy, Ph.D., certified sex and marriage therapist and author ofDiscovering Your Couple Sexual Style.